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 WOMEN
ARE PUSHOVERS AND OTHER PINK COLLAR MYTHS
BUILDING
BRIDGES FOR YOUR JOURNEY
GOAL SETTING FOR MORE IN 2004! 
By Margot King, Host of Job Talk, WGST
[Originally
appeared at AJCJobs - January 5, 2004]
Can
you believe it? We are already into 2004…I'm trying to figure
out how long it will take me to stop dating my checks with
2003, and if I'll be able to drop those extra pounds I picked
up along the way. If you're like most people, you have probably
given thought to setting out some New Year's resolutions.
I recently heard that the # 1 resolution is losing weight
(of course); the second is to read more; and the third is
the make improvements in your career.
Talking
about New Year's resolutions is one thing, but true goal setting
requires a lot more determination and taking action. That's
right, the opposite of "big talk, little do". Joyce K. Reynolds,
an executive business coach based in Fort Lauderdale, notices
that most people don't set professional goals, or set them
and then forget them. 'It's important to give yourself a road
map," she says. "If you don't know where you want to go, it's
up to the world where we end up."
We
spend so many of our daily waking hours at work, or getting
ready to go to work, or talking about what's going on at work,
that it's no wonder that if work isn't going well, it's a
real bummer. So, if you're tired of being bummed out about
your career and want this year to really make a difference,
well, hang onto your hat and rev up your engines, because
it's time to stop driving around in the fog, and begin focusing
like a laser beam on what you want to do. The power is in
your hands.
The 7 Rules of Goal Setting.
- Make
sure your DESIRE to make a change is stronger than your
fear of change. Everyone has insecurity about the unknown
that has to be overcome. It's amazing how comfortable and
complacent we can get even when we know we detest our job,
our boss, or our working environment. If you know you want
to do something different but you don't know what, research
no more than 3 possibilities. You may eliminate one or two,
but more than 3 will hinder your focus, and if you don't
focus, 2005 will roll around and you are still researching.
- WRITE
your goals down. Make a written contract with yourself that
you are going to accomplish your goals this year. Make a
colorful sign with your goals posted where you can see them
everyday. Your family may think you have gone bananas, but
verbally chant your goals in front of the mirror every day.
If you can't do this in a few minutes, you are being too
detailed in this step. This will aid in mental preparedness,
and if you're like me, you need all the mental help available.
-
Identify OBSTACLES that are standing in your way and analyze
how you will jump over these hurdles. Do you need help from
others? Do you need to change your appearance? Do you need
to overcome a past mistake? Write down specific strategies
to overcome each of your obstacles.
- Make
a PLAN. Prioritize your goals and break up each goal into
a list of action steps. List the action lists in sequence
of doing them. Make sure you have accounted for the obstacles
you analyzed and have smoothed the way or have added resources
or made changes needed to complete your plan.
- Impose
DEADLINES. Work backwards from the end of 2004 and what
you want to accomplish. Determine how long it takes to do
a task, how it will fit into your current workload, and
give yourself a little extra time. But, in the end set the
latest outside date for each task. You may have to rethink
your goals if you determine they are unrealistic. Like,
the King has commanded the pyramids to be built in 90 days…we
all know that mystery took years upon years. The main objective
here is to have a detailed action plan with weekly, monthly
and quarterly milestones. Meet with yourself to be accountable
to your mission or better yet find a buddy who has similar
goals and be accountable to each other.
- Begin
to VISUALIZE yourself after you achieve your goals. Be very
specific in your imagination of what your responsibilities
are going to be, what your office looks like, how far you
commute, what increase in salary you will have and how that
will change your lifestyle. New car, nicer apartment, or
maybe savings for your retirement or education funds for
your children. Create an imaginary movie in your mind of
your positive outcome and let it play back when you are
relaxing in a bath or going for a long jog.
- Be
TENACIOUS. Be a dog with a bone…don't give up. Even if you
hit roadblocks or blind alleys along the way, figure out
a way around them. If people stand in your way, don't blame
them; use your resourcefulness to break the barrier. Do
what you can manage and can control. If you have a co-worker
that drives you crazy, see how you can move to common ground.
If you boss is holding you back, maybe it is because they
perceive you are indispensable in your job. You need to
reinforce that you would be responsible for your replacement
being up to speed before you move on to that new promotion
you want.
Kristi
Lucariello, President of Buford-based Performance in Practice,
Success Coaching for Women, points out that if you are going
to set long-term goals, such as a "five-year plan", you have
to remember to be flexible. "There are so many different choices
and opportunities that will present themselves over the years
and you want to be open to that," she says. "You should have
a general idea of where you want to go in your career over
a span of time, but you need flexibility and should reassess
your plans quarterly."
Take
a stand. The most important step you can make goes back
to Rule # 1, and that is have a good idea what you want to
do. A good exercise is to:
- Make
a list of all the things that you love about your job. Attach
to each item, a statement of why you like it and what skills
or characteristics that you use in that part of your job.
It's OK to repeat skills or characteristics, because the
more something is repeated, it becomes your primary tool
that should definitely be part of your next career move.
- Make
a list of all the things that you dislike about your job.
Analyze those that are truly hateful and those that you
may not like, but on occasion it is something that has to
be done. Figure out a way to eliminate that dislikable task
through delegating, using a new technology, etc. If it is
something that is a core responsibility of your job, you
definitely need to change jobs ASAP.
- Turbo
charge your people skills. If what annoys you is not a task,
but a person, determine how you can turn an opponent into
a proponent by taking the first step to communicate a way
you can work together. Perhaps your boss needs a friendly
and respectful reminder of your accomplishments. It might
be necessary for you to connect the dots of what value you
have brought to the company. Don't take if for granted that
your boss automatically knows all the great things you have
done. Make a list of your accomplishments with quantifiable
results for your department or your company and have a sit-down
chat with your boss to see where else your talents can be
used. You may not be able to control whether you get a promotion,
but you sure can demonstrate that you are ready, willing
and able.
- If
you find that everything you have listed and analyzed is
not in alignment with where you are headed in your present
company, it might be time to face facts that you need a
permanent change from your company, if not your industry.
Ditch the fear of the unknown and carve out the time in
your schedule to begin a job search for yourself. Follow
the steps of goal setting, persevere and you may be pleasantly
surprised to find that the perfect job was out there all
along. You just needed to step out and make time to explore.
Joyce
Reynolds says, "The most successful women in business are
those who realize 'it's up to me'." NOW is time to focus on
your FUTURE. Make this the year that you find satisfaction
at work. That's right, you deserve MORE in 2004!
THE
WORKING MOM'S BALANCING ACT
By
Margot King, Host of Job Talk, WGST
[Originally
appeared at AJCJobs - December 9, 2003]
Ah, motherhood.
It has its blessings, of course, but when you work, it also
has its difficulties requiring multiple personalities to rival
Sybil…family alarm clock, valet, caterer and cook, chauffer,
dog walker, costume maker, master scheduler, PTA volunteer,
sports enthusiast, one-armed clean-up committee, and accomplished
drill sergeant. And, that's just the on the home front!
Whether
you're home based or commute to work, pretty much any woman
who has a career and a family will describe her life as a
constant juggling act.
It can
be difficult to keep all those plates spinning, especially
when outside forces -- illness, lack of time, competing obligations
-- conspire to knock them out of your hands. Well, you can't
fight fate, but you can arm yourself with some common-sense
strategies that will help your life run more smoothly both
on the job and in the house.
Careening
out of control? Let's assume that your career is going
well, but you feel like your home life is not. Whether you're
trying to run your own business or you're working for someone
else, it can be overwhelming to worry about whether or not
your children's academic and extracurricular needs are being
met. When is your son's book report due? Does your daughter
have a soccer game tomorrow, or was it yesterday? In the meantime,
as you sit fretting, you have a report due yourself, and there
is a mile-long list of phone calls that need to be returned
sitting on your desk.
Maria Bailey,
founder and CEO of BlueSuitMom.com, says, "One of the issues
we hear the most about is managing the schedules of the children.
It's a huge challenge, but if working mothers were to implement
the same organizational skills they use at work, at home,
the results would be amazing. "
Think about
your job. There is probably a system at work for managing
both the paper flow and the information flow. Can you incorporate
a similar system at home?
Bailey,
a mother of four and a former Fortune 100 executive, suggests
setting up a family communication center featuring a communal
activity calendar. Everyone's academic assignments and extracurricular
activities can be recorded on it, so you can see at a glance
what your parental responsibilities are for that week. You
can even color-code it for each family member. Bailey also
has "In" and "Out" boxes near her calendar, where her children
deposit permission slips, tests, and other forms that need
to be reviewed or signed by her. They pick them up from the
Out box each morning.
The best
thing about applying your work-related organizational style
at home, says Bailey, is that it puts you in a comfort zone.
If you feel in control of things at work, now you'll feel
that same sense of control at home.
Another
school play? I'll bump that meeting until the afternoon,
and with no lunch, I'll make it. Many working mothers
also describe frustration at not being as active in their
children's schools as they'd like to be. Studies show that
there is a link between parental involvement at school and
academic success, but how can a working mother be as involved
as the mother who can volunteer at school during the day?
Again,
take your professional skills and transfer them to the school
environment. Find a way that the school can utilize your assets.
Are you an accountant? Offer to handle the finances for a
fundraiser or other school event. If you work in public relations,
offer to write press releases about the school play. Be creative
in thinking of tasks that you can perform during the workday
that will contribute to your child's school life.
Career
coach Dr. Kathleen Wells adds that by staying abreast of school
activities, you can plan ahead with your employer to take
time off to attend special events.
Moms who
work at home might seem to have the best of both worlds, but
they face many of the same issues as mothers who work out
of the home -- and then some. They often lack the social and
technological support that office workers take for granted.
And while it may seem easier to balance your children and
your job when you're home most of the time, it can be even
more difficult to strike a healthy balance.
Jen Singer,
the creator of MommaSaid.net, says, "The first rule of juggling
kids and a career is not to make rules, because somebody will
always break them for you. The kindergarten teacher will ask
you to help out at school on the morning you planned to finish
up a project before deadline; the play date your son had at
a friend's house will get switched to your house because the
friend's sister has the stomach flu; and on top of that the
septic tank will overflow."
Just
say 'no'. In other words, you never can tell what's going
to happen, and when you are the person solely responsible
for both the work and the home-based needs, that can mean
extra stress. Singer's advice is twofold: take on a little
less than you think you can handle, and take care of yourself.
"Don't over-schedule yourself, learn to say 'no'," she advises,
"and schedule some of your work late at night when everyone
else is asleep, just in case.
As far
as staying healthy, remember that you may be the hub of the
house. You can't afford to run yourself down, because it affects
everyone in the house."
Delegate
and insulate. When you are home, you have other obligations
that keep you from enjoying family time, like cooking and
housework. Getting your children involved in these activities
will help everyone; the children can spend time with you and
learn responsibility, and you will have more time to enjoy
your home and your family on your days off. Dr. Wells says,
"If the children are small, cleaning or doing chores can become
a game, a time for laughing and telling funny stories. The
promise at the end of the chores is a fun activity together
because the work gets done much more quickly."
Whether
you work away from home or in the home, you also need to carve
out time for yourself. Remember, if Mama isn't happy, nobody
is happy. Take some "me time" to ensure your own physical,
mental and spiritual wellness. This can be something as major
as "taking the day off" on Saturday, leaving the kids and
the housework completely in your spouse's care, or it can
be something as minor as spending 20 minutes alone-time, soaking
in a hot bath by candlelight, meditating, or getting in a
quick workout. That time alone reflecting can be the perfect
antidote to madhouse frustration rejuvenating your creative
juices and gaining a perspective that relieves an overwhelming
workday.
Until scientists
figure out a way to give mothers an extra set of arms, or
master the science of cloning, working mothers are going to
have a lot of responsibilities on their hands. Bottom line:
Apply your planning and organization skills in both business
and family settings, so you can turn the balancing act in
your favor!
HOLIDAY
JOB HUNTING
If you are fresh on the job market, do not procrastinate looking
for your next position just because it is the holiday season.
This is the perfect time to begin networking and connecting
with people that you haven't seen or talked to in a while.
Let them know that you are in a job transition and are looking
for the perfect opportunity. This is also an excellent time
to prepare for your job search by researching companies and
industries that you are interested in contacting.
Been on the job market for a while? Now is the time to review
all the companies that you have been in touch with this year.
Reiterate your interest and enthusiasm in their company and
ask if there are positions opening up for the next year. This
may refresh their memory of you, and who knows, maybe there
is an opening right now that they want to fill before the
new year begins.
Need money fast? Whether you have run out of unemployment
benefits or just want to make some extra money, there are
seasonal opportunities that may help out...Catering
companies usually need help this time of year, and they especially
like workers that have had food service or bartending experience.
Check out the local yellow pages for catering companies near
you...Retail sales always need extra help around the
holiday season. Put a smile on your face and a nice outfit,
and go in person to the mall or stores and ask for the manager.
If you would rather work in the back office or stock room,
be sure to let them know you are willing to do whatever it
takes to help...Shipping really heats up during the
holiday season, so look to retail stores that are in the shipping
business. Don't forget UPS based right here in Atlanta that
may be hiring seasonal workers. Check out their website at
www.UPSJobs.com
or call 888-967-5877... Tax Preparation time will be
on us before you know it. If you have a good math aptitude
or an accounting background, consider the IRS and other tax
preparation companies. They are hiring now to get people trained
for the upcoming tax season...Limo Driver, if you have
a good driving record and can obtain a chauffeur's license,
the holiday times generate more party goers that don't want
to drive themselves after imbibing, and who knows you might
just meet some celebrities!
The
'IN' Word
That is INtegrity, in case you were wondering. What
has happened to the INtegrity of many of our business
leaders? I'll tell you what, it's in the lost and found department
and needs to be reclaimed. How can we do that? It starts with
you, the INdividual. It starts on the INside!
Dr. Tim Mescon, Dean of Coles College of Business at
Kennesaw State University, sites integrity as THE most critical
leadership attribute in setting the right tone from the top
to the bottom of an organization. "Because of heightened interest
and awareness of recent corporate scandals, there is a clarion
call to be hyper-vigilant of what you say and do on a systematic
basis."
Sally Winkler, Executive Director of the Chief Justice's
Commission on Professionalism, whose responsibility it is
to oversee mandatory professionalism and ethics education
for Georgia lawyers and judges, defines integrity as "going
beyond what you have to do, to what you ought to do." She
further states, "Beware of unethical behavior as it is a slippery
slope that can tumble into illegal activities."
Perhaps
homemaker-guru-turned-wallstreet-maven Martha Stewart could
benefit by getting more INsync with the 'IN'
Word. And I don't mean INsider trading. Through her
plight we have learned a lot more about the 'market' besides
how to buy the freshest vegetables.
This
article appears in the November issue of ATLANTA WOMAN, available
at newsstands everywhere in Atlanta. Margot King's regular
column "Job Talk" appears in each issue of ATLANTA WOMAN.
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